It’s sad to think that some people might not ever experience the beauty of the world, the beauty of truly living. If only I could pass along the importance of pursuing life to others, of the life that I am now able to taste.
I am blessed to experience such. I thank Him for gifting me with the awareness of all that surrounds me, and for the supernatural experience of weaving and piecing it all together into some sort of understandable text. Many times I ask myself why I have to be the way I am, why I have to suffer the way I do. Yet as my eyes open and I leave the darkness further and further behind, I much rather be how I am than to be distracted living what deceivingly appears to be life.
I am happy and feel great pleasure in my thinking, something that used to bring me terror. I feel, of course I always have, but now I’m learning how. I’m learning how to take all of this that's revealed to me, the way that I see, perceive, and sense, and live with it in a healthy way. When I suffer I suffer intensely, yet when I enjoy I enjoy deeply. I breathe it in in all of its entirety to such a point that the word enjoyment simply won’t do. I live it.
I am content.
I am content with the simplicity of the vastness of Existence being all that I need.
And that is all.
This experience of life is a testimony of God’s Grace, and how, out of choosing to accept it by doing the hard, dirty work of therapy, one can be made new.