make life happen.

It’s already the weekend - this short week just flew by! Now that everyone shared how they spent their holiday, new photos are being posted with bunches of creative ways to relax this weekend. I gaze on photo after lovely photo. I see them, I understand them with my heart and mind, yet I don’t have it. The weekend and ideas of how to unwind, yes, but the readiness to approach it with such enthusiasm and calmness of mind, no. I long to create, I long to do something new. But oh how sad to desire something that you cannot reach. It’s there; I don’t doubt its presence or existence. I just don’t have access to it. Something lies between us, separating me from the splendid pleasure of self-expression. How can I get to the other side?

The heaviness slightly lifts, yet I still cannot grab hold of what I desire. I’m discouraged by the confusion and frustration. It has come down to a choice. It’s about feeling it all but continuing on anyways. Maybe I’m feeling nothingness, but the fact of not feeling anything is in reality feeling something. I can decide to stay where I am, staring numbly at the blank journal pages as life happens on the other side of the balcony windows, or, I can make a move.

It’s picking up my pen and writing even about the nothingness. Standing and lifting my arms high towards Him, praising Him for who He is. The more I try, the more I put myself onto the scene. My choice forces the lifeless to life. I do exactly that which I feel is not there, refusing to wait for it to return to me.  I have gone after it, I will make creativity happen. I will make life happen. I step out with nothing in my hands, trusting that when I reach the threshold, He will meet me, filling my hands and heart with abundance.

Go forward. With faith.