I’m on the verge of a big change towards something that I was created to do. I still don’t fully see it nor understand it, but what I do see, that I am doing. I have so many interests; I’m attracted to so much. It’s not just one or the other, but all of them and everything in between. I am observant and always thinking in terms of creation. My thought process can distract me, pulling me into comparison as I admire and feed off of the passionate drive of another. I take it all in and dream along with their ideas, but that doesn’t mean that I have to change mine. My attraction and ignited creativity isn’t calling me to abandon my voice. It’s a process of healing through discovery, of eliminating what’s not for me and of digging deeper into what I realize awakens my heart.
Everyday is a constant refilling and evolving into something new, but woven within that is the inevitable need to get it out and expressed. The balance of receiving and expressing produces beautiful things. We want and we dream, but what do we do? Our wishes can be more than what we keep them to be, so we must move. We must start, we must live what we imagine.
It may seem so far off and at times seem like nothing to me, but even so, I tell myself to be strong. I have a vision but I also can’t see it all. Some moments my doubt makes the inspiration and passions disappear into confusion, but I believe in what I do know, in those moments of true inspiration where I felt the urge to just go.
Even so, I work. Even so, I go.
That’s where faith happens, that’s where creative freedom and living is manifested. So I start with what I’ve got and what’s in my hand. And that’s a pen and pencil, a paintbrush and scratched up journal, a napkin and wooden spoon, a coffee stained cup and coconut shells on the tiny counter with vlogs playing in the background.
The heavens are about to shake all it’s glory down on me, and I will not have to catch up with it because I’ll be right under it, showered by the treasures released just for me. This is it, this is the reason I was set free. And as I get closer, each new discovery and finding will be greater than the first. No greater time for me to come alive than now, where I can pull it all together into one artistic way and express it and share it for others who enjoy life just the same.